i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
