I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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