I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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