he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
