i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
