He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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