How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
