The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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