Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
