Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
