You can't special order awesome
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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