she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
