it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
