have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
no, he came in my armpit
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
