So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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