Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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