she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
