i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
