you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We left the knife in your bed.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
