then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
