Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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