I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Less talking, more tequila
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
