he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
