remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
