NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
third nipple confirmed
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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