I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
