Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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