I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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