He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
