8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
