if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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