you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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