update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
