Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
