he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
