She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
