sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
