Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
