NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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