i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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