i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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