Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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