i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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