dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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