There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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