I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
