9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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