Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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