Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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