Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This is classic penis vs brain.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
