I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
