Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize