i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
