Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
