Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you never un-have a 4some
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
