we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
