Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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