We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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