There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
dude. I can hear the air.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize