this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
