She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize