Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
