Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize