i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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