I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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