Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!

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(416): View more from Ontario

dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.

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(917): View more from New York City

she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"

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(440): View more from Ohio

Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?

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(775): View more from Nevada

She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me

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(316): View more from Kansas

They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo

(316): View more from Kansas

Mind. Blown.

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