And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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