apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think we might need a safe word for this...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
